Right Field Bleachers

Paul Lukas, who writes the world's most pleasingly anal-retentive sports column in Uni Watch, says everything that needs to be said about hideous Nike college uniforms from last week. Just about the only thing good to say is that Tech's eyesores looked marginally better than Florida's. But trust me, that's not saying much.

OK, why did it take this long for a sequel to the infamous Peyton Manning Mastercard commercial to come out? Someone tell me what isn't funny about Peyton, who is leading candidate for League's Biggest Douchebag, being forced to suck up to common guys in the same way that would probably cause him to snap some average Joe in half? And, in a stroke of genius, Mastercard threw in a sneak Eli reference, basically saying, "We're slowly working this guy [your little brother!] into the plot because in three years we might want him in these ads more than you." Yeah, that's not killing him at all. Seriously, we need to demand more of this. I won't be satisfied until Captain Audible is doing the wave for the neighborhood garbage man.